Thursday, October 8, 2015

Unmotivated: Screw Grad School

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When I took my first Intro to Psychology course in community college in 2010, I knew psychology was where my heart was. I loved it. I loved all my psychology courses. But, see that picture above? That's how I look every single day lately when it comes to grad school. I am unmotivated. I would rather stare at a pen for hours than to prepare my discussion posts or write 1,000+ word papers. It's not that I hate psychology. Because, I don't. I still have a deep passion for the field. Of course, I still waver between sports psychology and clinical psychology, but I know that psychology is where I want to be.

In all honesty, I think it's my school. The school I chose, for selfish reasons, has sucked all the life out of me. I hate it. I hate how they cram a semester worth of information into 6 weeks. I hate how my life is nothing but papers, papers, papers; never a test. I hate how so much of my grade is dependent upon team assignments. Maybe, I'm just stuck in the old way of school but to me, I hate how this school is set up.

And it is affecting my grades, my GPA, my future. I have 2 weeks left in my current class and then I'm putting my grad school plans on hold. With just 5 classes left to finish, I want out. I will be taking a six month break. During this six month period, I will be doing several things. First, I will be doing things that need to be done and are always pushed to the back burner. We're looking to move after the first of the year (not new area, just new place). I have things I have wanted to do but couldn't find the time: organize my pictures, links, computer files. I want to blog more. Read more books. Spend more time with my kids. Write my novel(s). These are the things I plan to do the next 6 months.

Well, those things along with figuring out what to do with my grad school problem. Go back to a school I hate and finish it out? Or possibly lose the progress I made and find another school where I would be mentally happier.

But, in the meantime I need to find some motivation and finish my current class with a decent grade.


1 comment:

Shell said...

Sometimes a break is just what you need!