Sunday, October 11, 2015

Project Tell Their Story, Week 2

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Ashley at My Angel Lives came up with this awesome challenge to talk about our angels this month. The month of October is Pregnancy and Infant Awareness Month. Her challenge is set up to have one prompt per day for the month. However, I am going to do mine a little different. I will post a week's worth at a time. This post will contain Days 5 - 11 of the challenge.

Day 5: Others Can Help me Remember My Angel By...

  • Participate in an October 15th event
  • Like my page in remembrance of my angels     
  • Donate to a children's hospital in memory of my angels
  • Participate in an Angel Tree or similar program
  • Allow me to talk about my Angels and my feelings.
  • Light a candle on October 15th. 

Day 6: My Angel's Symbol of Hope Is...
  • Alexis Marie: Teddy Bears, Aquamarine 
  • Dakota Lee: Dinosaurs, Tanzanite
  • Ashleigh Rose: Roses, Aquamarine
  • All Three: Angels

Day 7: My Angel's Song Is...

There are many songs. In fact, back in 2003 I had made myself a CD of songs in memory of my angels. I wish I still had that CD or at least the playlist for it. I would love to add them all to my Apple Music playlist for my angels. However, below are 3 of the songs I listen to for my angels.
  • Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton
  • Help Pour Out the Rain by Buddy Jewell 
  • Gone Too Soon by Daughtry

Day 8: Telling My Angel's Story Makes me Feel...

     First, it makes me feel bittersweet. I am happy that I am at a place where I can talk about them; yet, I am sad that I have to talk about them. 

     I also feel cautious. Some people don't think they should be talked about. This also makes me sad because they deserve to be remembered as well. 

     I get scared when I talk about them because I never know who I am going to offend with my story. Or if anyone really cares about my story. I have kept it all in my inner circle for so long that I get scared to bring it up to others. 

     But, most of all I get sad and weepy. These sweet angels were a part of me. Even though I only had them inside the womb for 6 weeks or 12 weeks, they were mine. I shouldn't have to live my life without any of my children. 

Day 9: Before my Angel Came Along, my Life Was...

     I'm not sure how to answer this. My very first pregnancy resulted in my first angel. I never knew the love of a parent for their child before my angel came along.

Day 10: Since My Angel Has Come Along my Life has Been...

     Since my first angel, I have realized the meaning of a child being a gift. Since my angels, I have made my living children my priority. Since my angels, I have learned not to take anyone in my life for granted and to treasure every moment I have with those I love. I battle with bouts of depression since my angels.

Day 11: The Resources That Help Me Grieve My Angel Are...

     When I miscarried Alexis, I had no idea what to do. I knew no one who had ever miscarried. I lived in a small town where there wasn't support groups for things like this. Travelling to a bigger city for a group was not an option. When I miscarried with Dakota, the internet age had just begun. I started researching and I found Pain - Heartache - Hope (now Remembering Our Babies) ran by Robyn Bear. I found a great support system of women. I joined the effort to have October 15th recognized as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I even served as the Virginia State Leader for the campaign. Along the way, I have had some special people touched my life with gifts. Some purchased angel figurines for my memory shelf. One special lady (I wish I remembered who she was) made me two blankets for Alexis and Dakota in their memory (this was before Ashleigh). I am grateful for these people who touched my life.

** Part 3, Days 12 - 18, will be up on 10/18
** Part 4, Days 19 - 25, will be up on 10/25
** Part 5, Days 26 - 31, will be up on 10/31

1 comment:

Ashley Anderson said...

This was very touching to read. Thank you for being transparent and continuing to tel your Angels stories. This is so raw, tender, and beautiful.