Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Where Is Home?

"Someone suggested that there's an incomplete part of our chromosomes that gets repaired or found when we hit New Orleans. Some of us just belong here." ~ John Goodman 

I've been out of Louisiana since August 2010. I knew it wouldn't be easy when I left Louisiana. In fact, I knew it was going to be one of the hardest things I had ever done. I spent the first 30 years of my life in Virginia. In the place I was born. The place that was supposed to be "home" to me. For 30 years I pretended that I belonged there. Then I stepped foot in Louisiana in December 2008. And I found home, the place where I belonged. In less than 24 hours, I knew there was no other place I'd rather be. We were there for 2 weeks before we had to come back to Virginia for the holidays. I was sad, fearing that I'd never see my precious Louisiana again. But, on January 5, 2009 I was back home... And I knew 100% without a doubt that I never wanted to leave it again. In March (2009), I had the option of staying behind in Louisiana for a month and a half or going to Washington DC. I chose to stay behind. When my husband's job in Louisiana was done, I was faced with the biggest dilemma ever: Trying to figure out how to stay behind alone with the kids, or leave. I had to do the only thing that I could at the time. I packed up to leave. But, a few nights before we left, I was promised that I would be able to return back to Louisiana as soon as possible. I left and cried until somewhere in Mississippi. I spent a week away and then when Chris got laid off, we took our savings and he took me back to the place I loved so dearly.

It was in Louisiana that I found out I was pregnant again with my 7th child. A child that a doctor swore 2 years earlier that I could never successfully carry. I conceived that very same child in Louisiana. My son was born in Louisiana. During the year I was in Louisiana before leaving for Maryland, my feelings never changed. Louisiana will always be my home. Not just because that's where I'm connected to via my son, but because it's the place that has my heart.

Louisiana gives me a sense of peace. A sense of belonging. In all honesty, it gave me the sense of being CRYSTAL instead of just wife and mother. I was happy, cheerful, full of life... This point was further evidenced in February of 2012. After a year and a half, I went back to Louisiana for a two week vacation. I was happy. I was cheerful. I was even pleasant to be around for two weeks. It was confirmed. Louisiana is my home; where I belong. Soon, I will be back there for good. And I will finally be home...

"She is a New Orleans girl, and New Orleans girls never live anywhere else and even if they do, they always come back. That's just the way it is. This is where she belongs. End of discussion." ~ Chris Rose

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