Sunday, July 3, 2011

10 Days of BS: It Made Me Who I Am

★Day 03- An experience you're not proud of, but has made you the person you are today.★

Wow... this is a subject that I have been dwelling on for the last few days. Because honestly, this experience randomly shows up in my head every now and then. {And I really, really apologize to my husband for this post because this is a very sore subject among us}

Back in June 2009, I started talking to this guy. Yeah, at the time I thought it was a great idea. He said all the right things. He made me fall for the lines. He then destroyed me emotionally. It took a few weeks, but I bounced back from it. I moved on. Kinda. He still stays in my mind. He still pops up front and center every now and then.

In all honesty, every so often over the last couple of years, I'd enter his name into Google. And I'd come up empty. I started to wonder if it was really all just my imagination and he never existed. Then last week, his name returned a LinkedIn profile. Complete with email address and twitter. But, I refuse to contact him. That's not what's important. I don't want him back in my life. I think it's more of a prove to myself that he was there and that I'm not missing a thing without him.

I'm not proud of being with him. For various reasons. But, it made me stronger. Made me view things differently. Made me who I am. Made me what I am.



Kathryn Baker Photography said...

This is why we get along! I have gone through something similar. It was with my ex-boyfriend. I endured nearly 2 years of a living hell with him. Also, at the time I admit I was really screwed up. Even after I met my husband and the first year of marriage, I still had nightmares about my ex. Even ran into him one time after I was finally healing. Nightmares started again then suddenly it was like I was starting to forget him. Honestly, I did not want to forget him. Ended up finding his sister on Facebook who had her profile public and I did get curious. I did NOT want anything to do with him. Just curious and of course found out he never did grow up. All it did was keep reminding me that something good did come out of that horrible relationship---I simply became a stronger person.

Destiny said...

you cheated on your husband or did I misunderstand?