Wednesday, July 27, 2011

We Want To Know Wednesday #3

I'm linking up with We Want To Know Wednesday with Mamarazzi and Alicia AKA Queso


This week's questions come from Alicia AKA Queso:

{1} Who would you call if you had to get bailed out of jail?
       Well, Chris naturally. Who else would come bail my crazy ass out of jail on a moment's notice? Besides he'd probably just meet me there since he would more than likely be a witness to it all.

{2} If you were a superhero what would your hero name be?
       SUPERMOM! Duh! I am a stay at home mom of 7 kids, ranging from ages 13 years to 17 months. I home school them. I am in college full time studying Psychology. And I do it pretty much alone since the husband works like 80 hours a week.

{3} What do you think is one of your best qualities?
        I have one of the biggest, most caring hearts ever. I will literally give you the shirt off my back if you need it. I try to help people out as much as I can. Until you betray me. Then screw you!

{4} What song would you pick to be your own personal theme song?
       Bitch by Meredith Brooks!
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed

{5} What celebrity do you think is most over rated?
       KIM KARDASHIAN!!! Actually the entire family but mainly her. She is the most un-exciting of them. Yes, she is famous for absolutely nothing.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Music Monday: Love

This week's Music Monday is a song that reminds me of someone. This is I Love You by Celine Dion. This has been mine and Chris' song since the beginning of our relationship so it reminds me of 15 years of memories with him.


Adapted from the 30 Day Song Challenge

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Rockin' The Baby! Well, in my case Babies!

(Button by Jess at The Frilly Coconut)

Last month I participated in Rockin' The Bump with Shell at Things I Can't Say. This month she is hosting Rockin' The Baby.

I may be a little biased, but I think I have the 7 cutest babies in the whole wide world!

This is my oldest. She was about 10 months old in this picture. She was a little diva back then. Well, ok, she still is. She's 13 now.

This is Baby CS#2. She was 6 months old here. Today she is a wild 8 year old!

I considered doing CS#3 and CS#4 separately. But, then I saw this picture. They were 6 weeks old! I love it because CS#4 looks like she is talking away and CS#3 is asleep, ignoring her as usual! Today they are 5 years old. CS#3 is a tomboy and CS#4 is a prissy girl.

CS#5 and CS#6 are twins as well. But, I decided to do them separately because they are the exact opposite of the "2 peas in a pod" twin myth. They are both about 9 months old in these pictures. Today they are 3 years old.
CS#5 -- I love that little grin!

CS#6 -- A computer girl just like Momma!

And last but not least, we have CS#7, the baby. The only boy. He was 5 days old and coming home from the hospital. Now, he is 18 months old. Still, a little baby. At least to me.

See? I told you they were the cutest babies. Ever.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Music Monday: Song That Makes Me Sad

This is the song that always makes me cry. It reminds me of my Nanny...

Twenty - one years ago today, my Nanny died. It forever changed the way I viewed the 4th of July. A day of celebrating and family fun was now a day of sadness and grief. Every year, I keep to myself. I pretend the day doesn't exist. To me, it's just a day that I move through never allowing myself to feel  anything. Now I know she wouldn't like that I do this. I know that if she were alive and saw me grieving for someone else in this manner, I'd get a good earful. She would never allow me to grieve in this way. But, fact of the matter is I was taught by my mother to hide my emotions. To never let anyone see me grieve. And so, I never properly grieved all those years ago. And it affects the way I grieve now. I am still trying to grieve her death. I'm scared to let go. Scared that if I do, then she's lost to me forever.

I usually write a letter to her each year. But, this year her memory has been with me way too much. You see, when I get really upset. Or depressed. Or confused. She becomes the big focus of my thoughts. I like to think its because I still need her advice and guidance. Well, I know I still need her advice. There's so much going on right now that I know I would value her opinion on. but, it is what it is. I am left with envisioning what she would say.

With all that is going on right now, I do need her. Desperately. And it saddens me that she isn't here. That she isn't here to hug me and reassure me. That she isn't here to see all that is happening, good and bad, with me and her family...

10 Days of BS: I'm Fine

★Day 04- What do you lie about the most?★

I lie about very little. I am an open book and I tell it like it is. I feel like I shouldn't have to lie to you about anything. If your hair looks like shit, then I'm going to tell you it does. But, there is one thing I will lie about. And I do. Every. single. day. It's when I say "I'm fine." Because you know what? I'm not! I'm not fine being taken out of the place I love and brought to the East Coast. Which, I hate the East Coast. I'm not fine being stuck with my kids every single day of my life with no break. No hour for me to spend alone. No down time. I'm not fine never seeing my husband yet never seeing a paycheck worth all the time he's away. I'm not fine feeling neglected and then told I'm wrong for feeling that way. I'm not fine being told my degree means nothing because nothing will ever mean more than his job. Catch my drift? I'm not fine. Yet, I have to smile and act like nothing is wrong....

Sunday, July 3, 2011

10 Days of BS: It Made Me Who I Am

★Day 03- An experience you're not proud of, but has made you the person you are today.★

Wow... this is a subject that I have been dwelling on for the last few days. Because honestly, this experience randomly shows up in my head every now and then. {And I really, really apologize to my husband for this post because this is a very sore subject among us}

Back in June 2009, I started talking to this guy. Yeah, at the time I thought it was a great idea. He said all the right things. He made me fall for the lines. He then destroyed me emotionally. It took a few weeks, but I bounced back from it. I moved on. Kinda. He still stays in my mind. He still pops up front and center every now and then.

In all honesty, every so often over the last couple of years, I'd enter his name into Google. And I'd come up empty. I started to wonder if it was really all just my imagination and he never existed. Then last week, his name returned a LinkedIn profile. Complete with email address and twitter. But, I refuse to contact him. That's not what's important. I don't want him back in my life. I think it's more of a prove to myself that he was there and that I'm not missing a thing without him.

I'm not proud of being with him. For various reasons. But, it made me stronger. Made me view things differently. Made me who I am. Made me what I am.


Friday, July 1, 2011

10 Days of BS: Me and Alcohol

I have decided to link up with the ★10 Days Of Bullshit Challenge★ with ★ Rockin' Mama ★! I am a day behind so I'm putting Day 1 and Day 2 together.

★Day 01- A recent photo of you with a funny caption.★

Anyone who knows me knows that there are very few, if any, pictures of me. This isn't my most recent picture, but it'll do.
"See the Wheels Grinding?"

★Day 02- How was your first experience drinking alcohol?★

I remember very little. Please note that the person involved in this will always deny their involvement. But, whatever. No need to protect yourself now.

It was June 16, 1994. Want to know how I remember that date? The next day was the infamous OJ Simpson White Bronco chase. And I was watching it. Hungover. But, anyways. Back to the story at hand.

I was 15. Just finished my sophomore year. My mom was out of town which meant my older sister stayed with us. {She was 21} She had her boyfriend and two friends over. The game to play back then was Quarters. So, my sister fixed me a Strawberry Daiquiri and we sat down and played.
Ok, except it didn't look that good. It was in a cup like this:
But, we played round after round. And I drank daiquiri after daiquiri. Until I was really, really loopy. When i couldn't stand up they decided game was over. I then proceeded to try and make up the sofa bed for my sister's friends using curtains. Yeah, didn't work out all that great! Then I slept until 11 am the next morning, had a pounding headache and swore off alcohol. That didn't last long. 

Friday Confessionals -- 7/1/11


   that I am tired of being my husband's "mistress". His job is his wife. I know I should be thankful that he has a job, but its hard when you never see him except to watch him sleep. I feel like a single mother most of the time.

   that lately I have been feeling really selfish. I want to do things for me. Like get my hair done, get my nails done, get a pedicure, buy some new clothes, make up, etc. I really, really want to do some things for me.

   that because of all the time I have to spend without my husband, things from the past have started to cross my mind again. I don't want them there. AT. ALL. But, they are.

   that I do have a lot on my mind. A lot that is personal and private that will not be shared publicly. But, there is a lot on my mind that sometimes keeps me away from my blog.

   that I sometimes miss my days as a firefighter. Sometimes I wish I could go back to it. But, at this time I can't.

Do you have any confessions for the week?